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Well, i joined a lifegroup at the beginning of merge. It was a group of 10 or so young women, and it was fun. Good to hang out with new people and connect with new friends.

But, as is my life, I have to take a class next semester that is the exact same time as my new lifegroup.

So tonight, I tried a different one. I was super nervous. I thought it would be awkward, i thought i’d be the only one who wasn’t married (ok, i was the only one who wasn’t married), and I’d be the youngest (ok, i’m the second youngest by 1 day…) and that it would be totally weird and i’d feel out of place.

But i had so much fun! They all cracked me up, it wasn’t awkward or anything! I’m actually really happy with this group, and i’m very glad i went tonight

My day tomorrow? Welcome to friday…. Nanny 9-1, home @ 1:30ish, departmental meeting @ 5, happy hour @ 6ish. Can’t wait to sleep in on Saturday, that is for sure!

Dream for tonight? Sunny spring day, a cool metal table and chairs on the sidewalk outside a cute coffee shop, sitting under a pretty striped awning. A friend, iced coffee and a cookie. Unwinding, talking, people watching and laughing at crazy hairstyles and people who wear crocs

And it’s cold and darkness falls
It’s as if you’re in the next room so alive
I could swear I hear you singing to me

Protected: Just be…

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Where am I?

Well, Kathleen emailed me today. She’d rather work 2 full days a week instead of 1 full and 2 part-time, so she’s going to find a new sitter starting the beginning of the year.

I think I’m relieved. While extra income is nice, I’m pretty sure I would have been killing myself to keep up the pace. Not to mention, this little thing called data collection. And driving an hour a day. And the 2 majorly advanced stats classes I have next semester.

I kind of feel like a little bit of weight, a little pressure has been lifted. I kind of like it.

Started physical therapy today.. that was certainly an experience. Lots of exercises and electrodes…. but the therapist was pretty cool. Hope it works!!

I’m exhausted, and going to bed. I couldn’t fall asleep last night, and when i finally did at 2 am, I woke up sobbing twice from bad dreams. It was awful!! I woke up from the second one at 5:45, and finally fell asleep at 8:30… and my alarm went off at 8:45. So…. a great night, really. Lets hope for a little better tonight, friends!

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears

I’ve seen miracles just happen

Today was like a re-baptism by fire. 9 hours of my boys.. wooo boy. Nothing like it, thats for sure.

E learned how to correctly use “no” over his vacation. This.. makes me laugh and become very annoyed simultaneously. For example, we had this exchange somewhere in the 1 pm hour today…

Me: Ethan, are you going to wear actual clothes today?
E: No!
Me: (holding back a laugh)…well, ok then!

So then Matthew is trying to get Ethan to say no to everything. So he’s like “E, do you want some carrots?” “No!” “Ethan, do you want to take a nap?” “No!” “E, did you poo poo?” “….mmhmm.”

The joys of kids. Almost makes me never want them. … almost.

We did this thing @ LG tonight about “saying Yes” to the things that God is asking us to do in our lives. I know that my major is just that…. my major. But I also know that things I’m passionate about include homelessness and autism. So… i actually put in writing that those are 2 things that I really want to listen more to God about and pursue. Which, honestly, makes me very nervous. There is something about writing something that makes it so real. But…. its a step i need to take, and a place i know my heart really is being pulled. i need to stop making excuses and just do something about it. I don’t know what the first step to those things is, but I know i need to figure it out somehow.

(weird- wordpress just told me this: Draft Saved at 11:11:11 pm. That has to be good luck, i guess… but… its 10:11… but i digress.. very much digress)

Alright. I know its barely after 10, but i’m totally going to bed. I start physical therapy tomorrow and i’m nervous and not happy/very happy about it. I hope it works!!! blah.

night night!

I try to be so tough
But I’m just not strong enough
I can’t do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I’m nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Halloween 2

Why didn’t someone remind me that I’m far too old to go to a party 2 nights in a row?

Even with time change, I’m exhausted. Whoaaaa boy…

I did meet new people @ the party. Actually, I met a couple who go to crosspointe- Chris and Amanda. We were a scavenger hunt team- let’s just say we were very thorough (which really means we came in like…. waaaay last).

All in all, a pretty good halloween. Besides the last minute costume, the half my knee i left on a street in morrisville, and the brutal combination of gin and tonics and rum spiked cider, I’m not too much worse for the wear!

The boys come back tomorrow, so its off to babysit bright and early! Missed those little boogers I’m sure that feeling will go away by around 10 am or so. Whateverrrrrr….

Give us the strength to take these dreams and follow through…

Halloween 1

I’ve never been big on Halloween. I guess it’s because when we were kids, we didn’t really have “cool” costumes. We always dressed up in cheesy costumes or homemade things, but I never felt “cool.” Plus, we lived out in the middle of no where, so we never went trick or treating. We would drive around to my aunt’s and uncle’s houses or my grandparents, which, let me tell you…. wasn’t trick or treat. That was like a family visit. Whatever.

Anyway, I’ve never been too excited about halloween. Which is why, when I decided to go to a halloween party tonight, I had no costume. I had no costume until about an hour before I decided to go. And then about 15 mins before I left, I changed it again. After the party tomorrow, i’ll load some pictures. Let’s just say I’m not too sure where the inspiration came from, but Chia-Lin did say that if there was a costume contest, I’d be in the top 3

I met up with Ruch and Chris when I got there, and as we were walking in, I flat out klutzed it up and fell. Suckkkked. There was so much blood running down my leg… nothing like falling before the party starts. Cute. Real cute. But it was still fun, I saw a lot of people I don’t see very often, so that was fun. Most of them were from school, and most of them were wasted so it was a lot different dynamic. Good, though.

Lots of good costumes in case someone needs an idea for tomorrow. Ruch and Chris were vending machines, there was “balloon boy” and octomom and toad from super mario brothers… umm… lady gaga, prom queen, lego, box of wine, richard simmons, and the usual assortment of flintstones characters and normal-things-made-slutty. actual, there were only a couple people who didn’t dress up, so that was cool. I was surprised!

Anyway- its 2:30. I’m totally going to bed, and sleeping waaaaayyyy in! Night night <3

Diamond parties?

So I have this consulting job.
Its for a diamond company.

We throw diamond parties.

We had a diamond party tonight. And every time I go to a diamond party, I meet all sorts of new people, and every time I meet these new people I realize that there are some interesting people in this world.

And I also realized that people love to talk about themselves. Well, not all of them. But a lot of them…

Do you think that is a sign of how lonely our society makes us?

I wonder…

Tomorrow, I am turning everything off and slamming out a paper. An entire paper. Like 15-18 pages. All. Tomorrow.

Jealous? you totally should be.

And I may or may not go to a halloween party- but I have no costume. And i don’t really want to go alone. So… we’ll see.

Anyway! I think I’m going to bed. I bought new sheets, and they’re silky and soft. I can’t wait to crawl between them Night ya’ll!

the ants go marching one by one, hurrah! hurrah!

Kick ass.

We had our lab meeting tonight. I used to dread lab meetings because I felt like a dismal failure. I didn’t have my goals met or my work done or any of the expectations met.

I’m still very far behind, but I’m making progress and meeting my goals. And now I don’t dread lab meetings as much. My next set of goals is to start data collection this semester and to revise my thesis draft to get it sent to the grad school. In 2 weeks. Bring it on!

Got my midterm back for leadership. I think he graded it a bit leniently. I got a solid B, which is what I got on the motivation midterm. And I got way less than that on psychometrics, but I digress…. So maybe if i step up the 2nd half I could end this semester in decent shape. My goal was all A’s… i don’t know if that is possible anymore, but its much closer than i thought.

My back and hips hurt. Strangely enough, I miss running, too. It was a good release. I can’t wait until I can move, so I can run. I’m feeling like i’m around 85 years old. I tried to stand up when I got out of my bed this morning and I literally could not stand up straight. It was like on one of those ppl that “throw their back out” on TV. I thought i was on a cheesy sitcom for a minute. Pathetic.

I actually miss my little men. They’re @ Disney right now, and while i don’t miss the getting up early thing, i do miss getting paid to love and be loved. They’re so dang cute! I bet they’ll have all sorts of stories!!

IATs are on all of the flash drives, so now I just have to load the Excel task on all of them and we’ll be ready to roll for data collection. So tedious! Boo. I feel like I am expending a lot of energy just wading through details. For someone who lacks in the “detail oriented” facet of her life, this is torture. Can’t I just pay someone to be detail oriented for me??

4.19.

I have a paper due before Thanksgiving break, and my mom is coming and i’m trying to start data collection and work 3 jobs…. I’m thinking i should crack a little of that out before all of that happens. What?! no procrastination!? We’ll see….. but that’s what I’m aiming for.

Found out that financial aid neglected to take $2200 out of my loans and so there was a hold on my account. Meaning i couldn’t register for classes until i paid. Ugh. So frustrating. I’m poor now. Definitely no puppy for me now. Good thing i’m attempting to work 3 jobs!

Alright- slamming out a bit of work and then sleeeeeep!

To everyone who’s hurting
To those who’ve had enough
To all the undeserving
That should cover all of us
Please do not let go
I promise there is hope

Hold fast
Help is on the way
Hold fast
He’s come to save the day
What I’ve learned in my life
One thing greater than my strife
Is His grasp
So hold fast

Will this season ever pass?
Can we stop this ride?
Will we see the sun at last?
Or could this be our lot in life?
Please do not let go
I promise you there’s hope

You may think you’re all alone
And there’s no way that anyone could know
What you’re going through
But if you only hear one thing
Just understand that we are all the same
Searching for the truth
The truth of what we’re soon to face
Unless someone comes to take our place
Is there anyone?
All we want is to be free
Free from our captivity, Lord
Here He comes

Fig leaf world..

My class tomorrow got cancelled… because of snow
And my meeting, in turn, got cancelled… because of… idk. Just because

I really enjoy it when people encourage my personal state of laziness.

On the other hand, I have 25 flash drives that need programmed so I can collect data. So… maybe laziness won’t happen.

11:11

Annnd the back….

Went to the doctor today…. 4 x-rays later, he determined that i have a “lovely back with a beautiful alignment.” So that’s good, i suppose Starting PT next tuesday…

About halfway through getting my x-rays, I started cracking up… i remembered that there was a certain feminine product I forgot to mention to the radiologist, and was laughing at the possibility of it showing up on the film…. only me! hahaha! so awkward

Anyway, he say’s its probably just issues with the ligaments and PT should help it get better. Woo.