we’ll make it, i swear

People talk a lot about things happening for a reason. That there is some sort of bigger plan, some purpose that we’re meant to fulfill.

I don’t know how much I’ve subscribed to that idea in the past. I mean…I’m a christian, ok. I believe that God put me on the Earth for a reason, and that there is some sort of purpose to my being on this Earth. But the idea that every single thing happens for a distinct reason because then something else will happen…i just never really have given too much credence to that.

But the more i experience, the more i realize that there is a sequence of events in my life that have led me right to this very moment in time. and if i would have made a different choice at any of the earlier moments in my life, i probably wouldn’t be here. now, i’m not saying that if i wouldn’t have gone to the bar on a random friday night, i wouldn’t still be here. but i feel like the big things, things like musical involvement, going to PSE in high school, taking that psychology class, going to heidelberg, being in choir, touring in Chapel hill, taking gridley’s classes, applying to grad school, going to church with eleni…. all these seemingly random things have ended up coming together in this amazing life i’m living. of course, i don’t know if i might have ended up here even without all of those things happening, but isn’t it mind blowing to think that even the slightest deviation from how your life happens could change the course of your life and the course of your family and friend’s lives, and the course of the lives of people you will never even know.

sometimes its easier to say that you wish something would never have happened. if it had never happened, then this particular hardship or trying time wouldn’t be happening. if it had never happened, then maybe things wouldn’t suck so bad or maybe things would be easier. but the fact of the matter is… the sequence of events that has brought you here has shaped who you are, the person that you will be come and the direction your life will take. regretting doesn’t fix anything, it doesn’t change or solve whatever the problems are.

isn’t it a better use of time to stop regretting and just live the life you’ve been given? to love, fully and strongly? to take whatever time you’ve got and spend it making other people happy and helping them live the life they’re meant to live too?

 

“It’s so nice to see you. Can we sit and talk for a while? I have searched forever, I can’t imagine anything better.”